


Ocean air

by Takeira



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Protective Zack Fair, Reno (Compilation of FFVII) Being An Asshole, Reno is a dumbass, Rude being done with everything, Tseng being done with Reno, Turk (Compilation of FFVII)-centric, Turks (Compilation of FFVII), based on a real life event but not mine, cunning Elena, enthusiastic puppy Zack Fair, explicit language because Reno, intimidating Sephiroth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29526108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takeira/pseuds/Takeira
Summary: Reno has some fun with an air freshener.
Relationships: None
Kudos: 13





	Ocean air

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously had fun writing this. I hope it makes someone smile 💜

The eastern corridor on the 47th floor of the Shinra building was utterly empty. The only important doors in this corridor led to toilets, the secret hiding room belonging to Scarlett’s assistant, and the tiny supply room where Reno took his regular (and frequent) smoking breaks. Few people passed through here, and when they did, they were alone.

Suddenly, there was a sound of footsteps . Somebody was coming.

It was a petite blonde woman in an expensive dark blue suit. She was headed for lunch with Scarlett’s assistant. She wanted to cheer him up. That poor guy was working directly under Scarlett after all. He could always use cheering up.

“Heeelp! Holy shit somebody help me pleeease!” The screaming, or more like desperate yelling, was coming from the supply room. The blonde swiftly ran to it.

“Reno?” She tried to open the door, but it was locked.

“Elena?”

“What’s happening, Reno?” She tried the door again, harder this time, to no avail.

“I don’t know! This fucking door is fucking stuck and I don’t even know what happened or how it happened but something happened to me!”

“What?” Elena’s heart was pounding like crazy. She’s never heard Reno like this before.

“Just look through the keyhole,” Reno pleaded.

Elena obeyed.

_Tssssssssssssssss…_

“Ow! Reno, you moron!” Elena yelled, rubbing her eyes. The door clicked, signaling it was now unlocked, and opened. Behind the door stood Reno, cackling like a maniac, holding a can of _Ocean air_ air freshener. That would explain the ungodly smell. When Reno saw the look on Elena’s face, he quickly closed the door again.

The blonde stomped angrily through the corridor trying to process what just happened. Reno pranked her. Again. Third time this week. And it was only monday.

Time for revenge.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rude wasn’t quite sure why Elena was sending him to the supply room on the 47th floor, but he wasn’t one for asking things. Or answering. He led a rich inner life and that was enough for him. Also, Reno usually talked plenty for the both of them. He talked plenty for all of the Turks actually.

Speaking of Reno, Rude had just realized that he hasn’t seen him since morning.

“Heeeeelp! Shiva, Ifrit, General Sephiroth, anyone, please help me!”

Well, that’s for not hearing from Reno. Instantly recognizing his voice, although sounding uncharacteristically scared, Rude made a few quick steps to the door of the supply room. He tried to open it but he couldn't.

“Rude, is that you?” Reno said in a weak voice.

“...”

“Man, I’m so glad to hear you!”

Rude tried to open the door again.

“The door is fucking stuck, Rude! I have no idea how to open it! I don’t even know what the fuck happened!”

“...”

“But I think something happened to me, yo!”

Rude tried to kick the door down, without success. Reno had to hold it very hard in order for the door to stay in place. “Wait wait wait, yo! Just look through the keyhole!”

So Rude bent down to look.

_Tssssssssssssssss..._

Rude stood up straight again. “I can’t see anything.”

“Really?” Reno sounded less frightened and more concerned.

“Then, try to look with the other eye.” And Rude did.

_Tssssssssssssssss..._

“But something in here smells fishy.”

“Hold on a sec, I found a key…” Reno sounded positively disgruntled. The door opened and the redhead stood face to face with his partner. “Oh, right… I forgot you never took your shades off… not even indoors…”

Behind the corner, Elena snickered into the palm of her hand. She stopped snickering the second she saw Reno going back into the supply room.

 _So, a failed attempt at a prank won’t discourage you,_ she thought as she was heading towards the cafeteria. _Then I suppose it’s time to deploy a heavier caliber_.

Meanwhile, Rude was still standing in the corridor, wiping his sunglasses with a tissue to get rid of the air freshener stains.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Elena decided to count on people’s characters. She carefully picked a few office workers who she knew had just the right personality traits that would work for her plan, and told them to go check on the poor guy stuck in the supply room. One by one, they all went there, and the number of people with red irritated eyes was increasing by the hour. Just as Elena had predicted, all of them spread the news further. None of them said _"_ _Be careful, there’s a maniac in the supply room that sprays_ Ocean air _air freshener into people's eyes through a keyhole_ _"_. Actually, it was quite the opposite. It was always _"I wonder how that guy in the supply room is doing. Someone should go check on him.”_

Which was exactly how the news got to Tseng.

As soon as he entered the hallway on floor 47, he noticed that it was shrouded in thin fog heavily smelling of chemicals. It sort of smelt like the ocean, but only if the ocean had been devoid of any and all pleasant things.

Tseng knocked on the supply room door. “Hello? Is anyone in there?”

“Boss?!”

“Reno, is that you?” Tseng sounded surprised.

Reno gulped. This was his _boss_. But he couldn’t give up now. He’s already fooled fourteen people. The only person he had willingly spared was Scarlett’s assistant. Poor guy already had a lot to deal with.

“What is this strange smelling fog?” Tseng slightly wrinkled his nose. The smell was not very pleasant.

Reno immersed himself into the role again. “Boss… I think something happened to me,” Reno almost whined.

Despite himself, Tseng became worried. “Step aside, Reno, I’ll break through the door.”

“No, boss, wait! Peek through the keyhole first!”

“Why?”

Reno hesitated. He wasn’t ready for this. Out of all fourteen people, nobody has asked him this question yet. _Damn you, boss._

“Please?” Reno tried.

Tseng audibly sighed, bent down and peeked through the keyhole.

_Tssssssssssssssss..._

And even Tseng’s head became veiled in a wannabe ocean scented fog.

He had already half expected something similar, but still got quite annoyed at Reno. He was actually worried for a second there.

Tseng, contemplating revenge, stared at the second door - the one leading to the assistant’s room. There had to be something useful in there...

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, somebody was walking down the corridor again. Except it wasn’t just plain old walking, it sounded more like somebody prancing and bouncing enthusiastically.

Reno took a deep breath. He knew that gait very well.

“Zack! Help me please, for the love of you dear mother, Zack, help me!”

“Reno?” Zack stopped mid-air, looking around the corridor confusedly. His gaze finally landed on the supply room door, which was effectively barricaded by a bench, a table, several chairs, a potted fern and a leather loveseat.

Zack could have asked _who would barricade you in a supply room_ , but the list would have been too long. Instead, he started dismantling the barricade. “How did you get in there?”

"I don't fucking know, yo!"

Zack was lifting the furniture as if it didn’t weigh anything, gently carrying it piece by piece back into the assistant’s room. Poor guy already had a lot to deal with.

Reno, now with the vision of freedom, seized his opportunity to prank again. “I have no fucking idea what happened! I’m stuck in here and I can’t fucking open this fucking door at all and I think something happened to me!”

“But what happened to you? Oh, hang on a sec, I’ll open the door in an instant-” Reno knew that meant Zack was reaching for his absurdly huge sword and immediately interrupted this action by yelling “NOnono, just peek through the keyhole, yo!”

Good-natured Zack shrugged and obeyed.

_Tssssssssssssssss..._

“Ow! Reno, you’re such a dick!” Zack groused, holding a hand over his right eye. Reno half opened the door, grinned at Zack and passed him a can of his favourite soda. He knew how to reconcile.

Zack opened the can and took a swing of the soda. Reno had intended it as a cooling agent for the eye irritation, but nevermind.

“Hey, Zack?” Reno smirked devilishly.

“What now?”

“Be a good friend and send someone in here. I’m bored as fuck.”

Zack, already plotting revenge, smiled back just as wickedly. “Oh yeah!”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few moments later Zack pranced right around corporal Michael “secretary” Levine’s front desk, heading straight to the elegant dark door, decorated only with a silver tablet with the inscription _General Sephiroth_. He knocked in the unique rhythm he always used.

He absolutely didn’t need to knock. Zack’s bouncing and stomping was so characteristic (and loud) that it was warning everyone several seconds ahead that Zack was approaching.

Sephiroth opened the door to his office with the last knock of the young soldier’s fingers. He could have opened it sooner, but he didn’t want to get a punch in the face caused solely by Zack’s enthusiasm. Although it wouldn’t be for the first time.

“Hi, Seph,” Zack grinned. “Are you busy right now?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading! If you see any typos or grammar errors (especially tenses), please forgive me, English is my second language. Also, please tell me about the errors so I can fix them. Thanks again💜  
> (I doubt anyone would want to read it, but the original I wrote is in Czech so I can post that in here, too lol)


End file.
